Comprehension and Connection

Don't you love it when you figure out something huge? Something that links so many other things together. Like as if you are working on a puzzle board game but didn't have all the pieces and so you try another puzzle. Then you work on the other puzzle for a while and realize... They aren't two different puzzles. They are the same puzzle, but two different sections that link together to be one grand puzzle.
One might find out information on a topic and start to comprehend the opportunities, but not understand it fully. After a while of learning though – BAM! Connection – You get it. And you have to ask yourself, “Why didn't I know this before”? “Why haven't I known something so simple my whole life”? “Why are my eyes trained to hide certain colors"?
It can be one of your greatest moments. And this is applicable for everything comprehensive. - Relationships; family matters, work, finances, religion, life as a whole. In one moment you go from a question mark to an exclamation point. From uneducated to enlightened. From maggot to unique snowflake.
And all of this because you were open. You were open to new ideas. YOU were open to interpretation.

"Patience Iago, patience"

I've noticed something recently that annoys me about what many people do. I know, I know, me being annoyed, shocker right? Now I don't know if this is the nature of humans in general, but it at least seems to be the case with the majority of people I come in contact with (including myself). Patience. People say patience is a virtue... not that many people actually seem to obtain much of the "virtue" though from what I can tell. When people speak of patience I think of two basic types, long and short term patience. An example of long term patience might be how you handle waiting for an item in the mail, or finding someone to copulate with (or coitus). (I used "copulate" and "coitus" to celebrate my love for The Big Bang Theory which is an amazing television show and I highly recommend.)

An Example of a short term patience would be in a simple conversation for which I will explain further. I would think that one type of patience would reflect the other though so I'll just go into depth more on the short term patience. Many times in conversation, I will have two points to explain to someone. The first point will often lead to the second point. But before I can explain the second point, someone interjects.

I can understand someone asking me a question after I am finished making my points, but not if I don't pause “long enough”, weather it be mid-sentence or not. It's possible that it is just a question of how long is a “long enough” pause in which case maybe I should be speaking faster and/or have less pauses. I'm thinking that that is usually not the case though. I think it is that people are too impatient to wait for me to speak at a regular pace because their issue at hand is so important that it cannot be handled at a normal pace. Inpatient people who need to hear the word or at least have the idea of “immediate” in every conversation.

The best way to deal with this issue may be to disregard their disregard for respect, but of course I generally choose not to :) . What I like to do is say my first point and if that is interrupted, politely wait for them to finish their rambling-ons. After they finish, I wait a few seconds to the point of nearly awkward so they realize that they were rude. I then will say my second point. If what they said was still relevant, I then address that issue after I finish my initial thought. If they continue to be rude, what I like to do, is make my pauses even longer :) . After which I will say something like, “as I was saying...” and pick up where I left off, or repeat what I had already said and then continue on to the next point if need be.

One of the funny things about that, well to me at least, is that that usually make things take much longer, ha. Ha ha. Ha!

Inconsiderate-considerate questions

Work has been occupying a great deal of my time lately so I've got a lot to say about it unfortunately. For some reason I have impulses to talk about things that happen at my work in random conversations as if it is something interesting to talk about. Here is another "interesting" thing about my work.

There are four doors leading to/from the room I work in (interesting huh?! No. But this will lead up to it, like the doors to the room... anyway...). The most convenient door to use is also the most obnoxious. I could walk all the way around to another door or I can confront another annoyance of mine. Every time I use the easy-access door, I have to walk past a fellow we'll call Ned. Ned seems like a good enough guy. The thing is though, every time I walk past him, he mumbles nearly incoherent words as if directed at me... I think. I'm not quite sure, but most of the time I think he is asking me how I'm doing or how the day is going. I don't mind people asking me this question if it is at least going to lead to a decent conversation. It's not his fault that I need to walk past him in order to get to my cubicle if I enter through that particular door, but he should have learned by now that I'm not going to stop and chat every time I pass him. My work has more regulations on attendance than anything else it seems like so I'm not going to "waste" my time telling him how my day is every time he mumbles "... ...you doing..."?
When someone asks me how I am and I know they are actually wanting my input on the matter, I give them my time and explain my thoughts. Realizing their passion on the matter sometimes makes me feel for them more and drives me to wonder how they are doing themselves which may actually lead to a decent conversation.
Oh, I have to say another thing about that. I am not a big fan of the "how are you doing" "good, and you"? process. It's so heartless by some people... this is the real problem I have with it.
I'm sure if you're reading this, you're thinking "wow, this kid is ridiculous, he thinks less of Ned because he asks him how he is doing". Put simply like that, yes, I am ridiculous. I still think Ned is more ridiculous though.
Does it bug anyone else when someone asks how you are doing not to hear a reply... but as if it is just their form of saying hello? It can be a greeting, but if it is one, then wait for a reply as if to at least pretend you are interested in the answer one may have for you.
Many times when people ask me how I am doing I will just not reply because I am so tired of all the inconsiderate people asking that. It's like the people who say sorry for everything but don't mean it.
"Yeah, yeah. You're sorry, I'm sorry, we're all sorry."

For Me Please

My life is relatively similar Monday through Thursday. I wake up between seven to seven-thirty (depending on if I feel like taking a shower ;). I get ready for work which doesn't include eating, but does consist of many yawns while I slothfully slide my feet across the carpet between the bathroom and my bedroom.
I get to work and secretly step into my isle of cubicles. I silently slide into my seat. The reason I try to be so ninja-like is because of the lady seated directly behind me. She seems to be a good person I suppose... but that is irrelevant for this story. She is the most annoying person I know. This is not an exaggeration. Another girl and I have made a list of all the things that annoy us about her the most. It is over a page. So it's not just me being nit-picky this time, which I generally am. This lady, I'll call her Sha'quan'da. Sha'quan'da will jump into a conversation randomly to give her two cents. I could care less for her dirty change. I understand that scrunching people in cubicles makes it is easy to eavesdrop on others, but that doesn't mean you should reply to the people one might be eavesdropping on. Saying all this makes me feel dumb, as if I think that I only talk to smart people. False. I talk to stupid people on a daily basis. I live in Utah for goodness sakes. But there is something disturbing about Sha'quan'da.
I think the most annoying thing about her is the way she phrases some of her sentences. She is super loud on and off the phone which makes it more difficult to ignore her (fruitless to ignore her, but oh how I try). We are supposed to make sure our systems reflect the customer's current address among other things at the beginning of our call. This is how Sha'quan'da asks for the info, and I quote - “May I have your name for me please? - May I have you address for me please? - May I have... for me please? For me PLEASE? FOR ME PLEASE”!? - Put a bullet in my head FOR ME PLEASE! I hate it! Sticks and stones may break my bones but these words will always haunt me.
Not only is she annoying but she makes me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes she will say something that I find stupid and I'll call her on it and she'll then laugh and slap my shoulder or whatever seems to be closest. I have recently started to just stand but lean against my cubicle's counter-top-table-thing to be further away from her. These are the main things about her that annoy me... I'll let you know if anything else reaches the top of the charts.

Twitterpated Insights

I've recently been thinking a lot about different relationships in my life. I have been focusing on the girls in my life who may or may not be a good match for me. I have come to a few new conclusions. I do not feel comfortable perusing a young lady I feel intimidated by. Now this may not seem like news to most people, but nevertheless I have pin-pointed this for what I think it is. Realizing this leads me to wonder what I do about someone I feel intimidated by.

The first option is of course to simply not pursue her which sometimes leads to regret (only when I don't have another someone to distract me from the thought of her do I not regret this). I realize that my thoughts of being intimidated are purely my own emotions taking hold of the situation which bothers me. I feel that emotion should not control so much of my life but rather affect it. The next step then is to not feel intimidated. Now one who has lived a life of insecurity and self-doubt would say that's easier said than done. So I have thought of some actual solutions to the problem which I will explain shortly but not without introduction.

There are some people in my life that I would normally feel intimidated by but do not. For instance, I do not feel threatened by my friends' girlfriends. I believe this is because I do not feel pressure to impress her. She doesn't need to be impressed because she doesn't need to like me. She only needs to put up with me (you like that girls? Ha!). This allows me some wiggle room to be myself. Not that I don't want to be myself around everyone, but I don't have to put up walls of social norms around her. I can't have her not liking me though, so I must be at least somewhat of what she likes (unfortunately).

So back to the problem at hand – I must treat every girl as though she is “off limits” so as to be myself around her so much to impress but not to scare away. Now if she does not like the real me, at least I will be able to consciously be aware that she is not into the real me and not have to wonder what could have been.

There is another solutions that some guys do which I don't seem to be a big fan of, but I do realize that it is an option. I will explain what I think the reasons are for guys to be jerks to girls. The first reason for these jerks... It's in their "nature" to be jerks. This isn't a very good argument in my eyes and I don't feel like going into that at the moment. The next reason is one that seems to be at least somewhat valid. This is that women want what they cannot have. If a guy is mean to a girl, apparently he is showing her that he thinks he is too good for her and that makes her want to chase him... Very weird concept but apparently that works with young women because of how stupid they are (don't think i'm too sexist, yes, it definitely "works" both ways). I have also thought of another reason that is similar to the second idea but is slightly different. Now men may think that some women are “too good” for them. So they become jerks to these girls which appears to bring them down. Now I don't think men do this to deliberately bring them down necessarily. Rather to let the man perceive them as lowered down to the man's level so that they feel comfortable enough to try to “get them” or however you want to put it.

Hopefully realizing this will help me out in the pursuit of... well whatever it is that I am pursuing relationship-wise. If anyone else reads this, hopefully it'll help Mr./Miss. anyone else too.