Women: Inexplicable (to men)

I don’t understand women. Big surprise right?
Example of how complicated a simple thing about dating can get: I know a girl that prefers guys to ask her out via text. Another girl wont even go out with a guy if he asks her via text. As guys… how are we supposed to know one way or the other if we aren’t told?
Here is a perplexing story (for guys). Some girls the other day were talking about how ABSERD this one fellow in particular was. I either didn’t understand the situation fully or I completely don’t understand girls at all. One girl told a story about him and every other girl was like, “Ooooooh what a douchebag.” I was sitting and listening to them thinking… wait, that sounds completely normal to me. Am I a douchebag? Oh of course not… THEY just didn’t understand, right?
The problem I have with what they were thinking was that it would be completely normal for one fellow to act one way but completely odd for another fellow to act the exact same. It is contextual, so we can’t judge a situation based purely on our own experiences, we have to consider the other persons perspective. Easier said than done, I know.
Example: I realize that it is conventional for a man to open a door for women. I accept and follow this act as best I can. There is a step further though that I don’t agree with. Some men will park a car and have the girl wait in the car as he walks around the car to open her door. This I do not do. If a girl is so helpless or expects me to do even the simplest of “tasks” for her (if you can even call it a task), then I am not for her. BUT I don’t condemn men who do that (I just feel sorry for them). Sure it's respectful MAYBE, but it seems belittling to me. Some women seem to be all about equality when it gets them something – which makes sense, but not all about it when it means them doing more work… which also makes sense, but I just wanted to point it out. I am the way I am (in regards to opening doors) because of how I was raised I suppose and the other guys are how they are because of how they were raised – showing a certain level of “respect” to women. Now I would say one way is probably better than the other (possibly not my way, yes) but I wouldn’t say that we should dismiss someone just because they are one way or the other. Just because the guy is raised one way, doesn’t make him a “douchebag”.
On the flip side though, I should realize that it's fair that if a girl expects a guy to open every single door for them and he doesn’t… that she wouldn’t want to date him. Because I’m pretty sure if a girl sat in the car and waited for me to open her door… I would want to get back into the car and drive her straight home and gladly open my car door for her there. Good thing I own a motorcycle :)
Back to my point and making others look bad instead of me though…
After the girls went on about this guy, they decided to start talking about another guy that I actually knew. You know how people are always saying girls like guys who are dicks? I’ve known this was true for some time, but never realized to what magnitude. This guy is most likely the biggest dick I know. They were going off about how they love this second kid because he was funny and honest. I’m sure he is both funny and honest. Actually I definitely know he is funny, he is hilarious. But it’s ALWAYS at the expense of someone else (women in particular). And you know what their explanation was for that? Oh well that’s just the way he is, at least he is honest. Are you kidding me? That’s not justification, that’s fuel to the flame. I’d rather he was lying about all the things he says about people. At least that way he was a decent guy but a liar. This way he is an awful person and flaunts it. I admit that I am often thinking negative things about people, but I feel pretty comfortable in comparison to this fellow.
I just don’t understand women.